A young priest posted this and some people complained. He pointed out that this quote is from Archbishop Fulton Sheen and the response was silence. Now, if you've read this blog you already know that saying Archbishop Sheen said something is not the end of the conversation for me. Archbishop Sheen was sterling before Vatican II but afterwards he said and did some disappointing things. However, Archbishop Sheen was absolutely correct here.
Anyone who's been married knows that marriage is not a bed of roses. Romance and true love are not the same. When my husband's grandfather was dying his wife fed him, bathed him and sat by him until the end. When my grandfather became bed-ridden, my grandmother had to move the family from the farm to town and get a job as a cook in a local restaurant. My grandfather died when he was only 51. There are no poems or pop songs about home nursing or watching your fine young husband become helpless.
My husband has sat in waiting rooms while I've had surgeries, medical procedures and doctor visits. He's been there when I had the flu, bronchitis and migraines. I've taken care of him after his surgeries. And you know what? Those were days of grace.
When we married my in-laws were not happy. My mother-in-law even called my mother and asked if she couldn't convince me to to get an annulment. My mom set her straight but the problem remained for years. I was the wrong class and the wrong religion. My husband hung on to me harder. In contrast, when my in-laws overstepped in my brother-in-law's marriage he clung to them and his wife found herself working hard to please Big Daddy and Big Mama. My brother-in-law is divorced today.
Love requires sacrifice. It requires bearing with unpleasantness and overcoming our own desire for comfort, laziness or fun for the sake our beloved. Lady Gaga is not singing about cleaning up your spouse's vomit... for the second time that night. Jay Z and Beyonce are not doing power ballads about standing by your child's grave and being strong for your spouse. Nobody is giving Ted Talks about holding on together when the factory closes or about going from shopping at Macys to shopping at Goodwill when times get hard. Yeah, there is suffering in marriage along with joy. Pretending that doesn't exist is foolish.