I didn't know that I was pregnant so Rocky and I didn't have to make a decision. Having fought infertility for years I'd given up hope of ever having a successful pregnancy and I had no morning sickness or any other physical sign. I looked and felt the same as always. I was standing in my bedroom closet when it happened. It felt like a giant rubber band snapped inside me. I staggered backwards and ended up on the bed. I lay there curled up in a fetal position for I don't know how long. My pain level was excruciating. It was as if I'd been swallowed up and was being gnawed on and consumed by pain. I could not speak. My eyes were wide open but the sight of my quilt meant nothing to me. I could not form a rational thought. I just existed, plunged as I was into that abyss of agony minute by minute and until it stopped. Dazed, I got up and walked out of my home. Instinct or muscle memory or most likely, my guardian angel took me to work. I walked in and spoke to my boss. She was stunned by how pale and gray I looked and suggested that I call Rocky. I sat at my desk and tried to make a plan. Then came tunnel vision and muffled hearing, pain and the realization that this, whatever it was; was altogether beyond my control. Next came a thick, curtain of blackness before my eyes and ..... nothing.
I woke up on the floor under my desk and next to my own vomit. Co-workers had called ambulance and I was whisked away. My family arrived. After tests the surgeon told me what had happened and that there was no hope for my child because he was already dead. The Georgetown hospital staff called for the priest on duty. He gave me the sacrament and the apostolic pardon. He told me not to fear for I was loved by my Heavenly Father and whatever happened would be His will. After that I went to surgery. My stomach was full of blood and I was in shock. Had I not collapsed at work my husband would've come home and found me dead or dying. I urge any woman who needs to figure out what to do about a tubal pregnancy to go with her husband to seek the counsel of a learned, devout priest.
Thanks to Fr. "Angel", Fr. "Wise" and Fr. "Youngblood" who comforted Rocky and I during that terrible time.