Friday, November 02, 2007

Sad, sad, sad today.

I read on Tea at Trianon and the Catholic Musings blogs that Fr. Francis Mary, the host of EWTN's Life on the Rock has decided to take a leave of absence to discern his vocation. Uh oh. Usually when priests announce that they are discerning their vocations it means they are really half way out the door already. Fr. Francis Mary is a fine man and I feel terribly sad and sorry for him and for all of us cause you know the Catholic haters are going to eat this like sweet cream.



A saint, I can't remember which one, said that priests must be ultra careful about women. Not the obvious trampy ones becuase they all but shout what they're about but the real danger is the nice ones, the ones who genuinely mean no harm. I've seen many a Protestant minister fall this way. It starts innocently enough. She needs help... she needs kindness... she's the most devoted worker in the parish.... she's the one person who will stay up all night blowing up balloons for the senior's dance. She thinks he's wonderful... he finds that he looks forward to seeing her alone each day and suddenly stuff happens.


Pray for our priests. They are men called to a divine vocation but they are just men and in the ungaurded moment stuff happnes in the mind, the heart and the body. Ladies, have a care for your priest. He's your father, not a regular guy. Don't get into the habit of hanging out at the rectory, no matter how legit your business there is. Whatever you need to see Father about can be taken care of in the office. Do not get into the habit of traveling alone with him, even if it's giving him a ride to the Catholic Family conference in the next county. People WILL talk and it could be an occasion for temptation--- yours, his, whatever.

Do not invite him to your house for "counseling". See him in the confessional or across a table in the office. Do not invite him to your house, PERIOD, if you are single or if you are alone in the house. People will talk.

Do not call his personal number unless it is for a genuine reason. Arranging a time for confession or checking to see what time he needs your husband to come by with the chain saw to clear the brush around the parish playground or asking a theological question is fine. Calling him just to say "hi" is flirting and darn if you don't know that deep down inside.

If you are afraid of sex and prefer to hang out with men who are unavailable go see a good Catholic therapist. Do it right now. Do not hug Father, especially if you are the type who tends to do the grinding bosom thing when you embrace someone. Do not ask him to be a dad figure to your son. That's asking too much and if he's at your house all the time people will talk and temptation might arise. Do not dress provocatively around Father because you assume he' s above all that and you can go all wild thing with him without any complications. Do not flirt with Father on ANY level.

If you have a crush on Father, take a deep breath, grow up and get over it. If you have to join a different parish, then do it.

Pray for our priests.

12 comments:

elena maria vidal said...

Excellent points, Dymphna!

Terry Nelson said...

Great advice! I mean, really, really good advice.

Lynne said...

This is sad news. I'll pray for him during Mass tomorrow...

Diane K said...

You took the words right out of my mouth, Dymphna.

Therefore, you have spared me the need to write it myself since you've covered the bases.

I will link here!

Sanctus Belle said...

Excellent guidance. Women must stay away from priests except in the confessional. To pursue a priest is the same as pursuing a married man, or worse!

Elena said...

Wow. Great advice for women around priests and married men! Very much full of common sense.

Victoria said...

Dymphna, you are quite right. We women have to be sure that neither we nor that great priest whom we admire are put in a proximate occasion of sin. A sensitivity to the proximate occasion of sin is the amber warning that we should slow down and remove ourselves from a situation before it becomes an occasion of sin. Those nuns in RE sure knew what they were talking about! lol

Here in Australia Opus Dei priests will only counsel women in the confessional - the old fashioned kind with a grill in between.

Christine said...

very well said!

The young fogey said...

This sort of thing is exactly why the confessional box with grille was invented!

Dymphna (4HisChurch) said...

Amen! Absolutely excellent advice. I think this would go for any man who is "unavailable" in any way, but especially priests.

Linda said...

Sad, sad, sad is when I hear one of my beloved family in Christ refer to any woman as 'obious trampy ones'. We are called to love... no matter what. It is a sad time when one believes they can judge so harshly.
Perhaps it may be helpful to review our Lord's journey, His great love and compassion, with particular attention to who are His friends.
Father Francis Mary has a heart to follow... we do not 'own' him... we are called only to love him. He surely gave more in one day than most of us give in a lifetime.
In this season, let us focus on thanksgiving, not casting stones.
With all my heart, I give thanks to Fr. Francis Mary for all he gave. I pray God will bless him with much joy and happiness. And, that God will be merciful in judging us.

Susan said...

By all means - blame the women! God forbid you hold a priest (or a man for that matter) responsible for his actions.