Saturday, May 20, 2017

Cold fury




I read a short notice from Rachel's Vineyard in my parish bulletin this week that infuriated me. It probably appeared in bulletins all over the diocese. I don't know if I am being fair or not but when I read the words, " Mother’s Day can be difficult for women who have lost children to abortion...."  my ears drums pounded and my cheeks began to burn, I felt a quick wave of nausea and my throat closed up. For a few seconds it felt like I had subjected to a physical blow. 
God bless and protect the women who have turned to Rachel's Vineyard because they are sad and sorry about what they have done but with the exception of the one's who were threatened with violence or whose parents threatened them with being thrown out on the street, they chose at the time to pay an assassin to kill their child. This is not the same as lying in a hospital bed and being told that once again your body has failed you and your child is dead. I lost my child. An unknown number of women in my diocese can say the same.  To put this plainly and yes, forgive me, crudely, the post abortive woman was not minding her own business when she was suddenly set upon by a team of killers from Planned Parenthood. If I knew which Rachel's Vineyard staffer wrote that notice I would probably tell her or him what I think in the most blistering words I could think of. I object to the use of the word, "lost," in the Rachel's Vineyard  context. It puts a polite gauzy veil over the hideousness of abortion and it demeans the pain of those women who suffered from infertility, stillbirth, or the  pre-birth death of an infant.  

4 comments:

Wendy in VA said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Dymphna. And I completely agree with you.

M. Prodigal said...

Many repentant post-abortive mothers do not realize their loss until much later, even years later. And they have the guilt of knowing it was their own decision. Sure, there are those that are coerced but as one who stands at a killing mill, I will tell you that the majority is about convenience. A child is not welcome or wanted; there is school to finish and so on. Years later the truth hits home. I speak from experience.

Toni said...

I too am sorry for your loss. But I respectfully disagree with you. The point of the announcement was to touch the nerve of post-abortive mothers who are indeed suffering from their own sin, and to draw them out of it into forgiveness and healing. I can tell you as one of those unfortunate repentant mothers who is Catholic, that unless you have committed this sin, you cannot fathom all the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual fallout from it. In the end, while we indeed are guilty of the death of our own child, we nevertheless suffer that loss. For regardless of how a child is lost, it is truly feminine and maternal-stamped right into our bodies-to experience that loss. And that loss, as well as the guilt of the sin need to be addressed, through repentance in the confessional, doing the spiritual work that comes with a Rachel's Vineyard retreat, naming our children, and commending them to the Lord. It is brutally painful, yet extremely freeing0-because Jesus died for us too, and we have the same right to surrender our sins and pains at the foot of the Cross as everyone else. As St. Faustina received it from the Lord, "the greater the sinner, the greater the right to my mercy." And as St. John Paul II stated in Evangelium Vitae, mothers who have aborted their children can overcome that sin, and that pain in Christ, through the Church, and be eloquent witnesses to life! Afterall, we believe in a God who brings good out of evil, do we not? And please know, that when we read and hear stories of mothers who have lost children to miscarriage, or even after birth, or spoken to them personally, which I have, we do genuinely suffer guilt renewed, even though we know that we are forgiven by Christ. Because no one knows more than we do, what we have done. We live with it everyday of our lives-just like any other mother who has lost a child. We too are human mothers. God bless you.

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

"with the exception of the one's who were threatened with violence or whose parents threatened them with being thrown out on the street,"

I read of a case in Sweden, a girl of 13 had tried 5 weeks to insist she was keeping her baby, I think badgering can also be an excuse - if it comes from EVERYONE (parents, siblings, school, boy friend ...)