Saturday, August 04, 2007

how to kill the romance in your marriage

  1. Flop around the house naked. I don't care what that bobbled headed skeleton, Victoria Beckham says, hanging around the house naked just makes your body seem ordinary. An orthodox rabbi once told me, ('nother story, 'nother time) that a wife should never be seen completely unclad unless she means business. I don't think I need to elaborate.

  2. Be slovenly. I'm not saying you need to be Martha Stewart but doing disgusting things like leaving your underwear on the floor (my mom was a housekeeper for 30 years, she's seen women of all classes do this), not being discrete about your menses, neglecting to buy new underwear for years at a time, and turning into a slob after the honeymoon are all romance killers.

  3. Making your husband the butt of every one of your jokes. Ever notice how some women can't seem to go ten minutes without making some kind of critical or mocking remark about their husbands? It's uncomfortable for the listeners and it cuts your husband to the quick until he stops caring. When that happens your marriage is dead or almost there.
  4. Always putting your children first. Your first duty is to your marriage. I know a woman who fussed and cried and made her husband's life hell because she wanted a house in the country. She was convinced that country living would be better for the kids. After a year of misery her husband bought her that house in the country. His two hour commute is now four hours. The wife is delighted with her country home and yes, the kids love playing in the woods but her husband is quietly seething with resentment and no longer feels the same way about her. She won the battle but has lost the war.

  5. Treating your husband like nothing more than a paycheck. Some women are so busy with their families, their friends, their kids, and their careers that they forget about their men. I know women who act as though they really don't care what their husband's do or feel as long as that paycheck is in the bank on Friday.

  6. Listening to the wrong people. Don't listen to your divorced sister's advice on marriage. She blew it and the odds are she doesn't even know why. Don't listen to your man-hating best friend and for pity's sake don't listen to magazines like Glamour, Redbook, Cosmopolitan or Playgirl. Find a godly woman who has been married for ten plus years and study her. Is her husband happy? Does her home seem liveable? Is she content? That's the woman you should be paying attetion to.

  7. Turning into a nagging shrew. This one is obvious.

  8. Never being satisfied with what you have. If your husband can not afford the kind of lifestyle you want you have two choices: rethink your fantasy or get a job yourself. I am not of course, talking about the guy who can't keep a decent job or the guy who is so unmotivated that he hasn't had a promotion in ten years. I'm talking about the man who makes a perfectly comfortable living and still can't seem to satisfy his wife becuase she want's to live like the movie stars and the rich folks she sees in the magazines.


Lynne said...

Ouch! At first I thought I'd email this to my husband but then I realized it might hit too close to home. I will re-read it myself...(and print it out and stick it in my purse).

Kitchen Madonna said...

I love this post. My boyfriend just read too and he likes it!

Anonymous said...

Wow! you don't beat about the bush do you? Much to ponder!

DigiHairshirt said...

It will also kill a marriage when a wife does nothing to keep up with growing up. In my business, I have seen women who, once married, figure they don't have to do anything more to better themselves, keep learning, stay abreast of the times, etc. A man should be able to say, "You're not the woman I married!" and mean it as a compliment, because the wife has, over time, used her experiences and talents to become a better person!

In line with that is the woman who "lets herself go", as they say. I am not saying that a good wife has the obligation to look like a model - heck, childbirth will cure THAT problem. But take pride in your appearance so you and your husband can be proud, even if it simply a case of putting on a little makeup and a touch of perfume for dinner home with him.

And if a wife is following the tips in this post and does not gain the respect of her husband, then head for counseling. Marriage is a "two fer" and both spouses need to extend that commitment!

4HisChurch said...

Incredible post!!

Dymphna said...

You folks are great!

David L Alexander said...

"Turning into a nagging shrew. This one is obvious."

No. It is not.

rancher said...

Golly, I wish my Roman Catholic wife had read this before she ran off with another man and all our belongings and then bashed me at every opportunity. If so, maybe she would have still been in the Church and still with me instead of with her new Greek hubby. I wish things would have worked out for us, but I am glad to see she may have learned from the experience (as evidenced by her comment here) and hope that she will be more blessed in her Greek marriage.