Friday, August 17, 2007

Things that tick me off

  • The sight of Jesus being stuck in a chapel down the hall or in another building instead of being on the altar

  • Theology of the Body--- sorry!

  • Brides in strapless or backless gowns

  • cantors who think the Mass is all about them

  • Eucharistic ministers

  • parents who bring food (No- I'm not talking about a baby bottle. I mean food snacks like vienna sausages, cereal and peanut butter crackers) for their kids at Mass. Someone has to clean up that mess, parents. Have you thought about that?)

  • People who go to the back of the church for their cell phone conversation---- dude, we hear you!

  • felt banners

  • statues that don't look a human being

  • stained glass that makes me wonder what its supposed to be representing

  • RCIA

  • Pre-Cana
  • Calling everything ministries ( the tour guide ministry, the young adult ministry, the
  • greeting ministry...)

  • Catholic communities---- what the heck does that mean? I prefer to belong to a parish, thank you.


Coffee Catholic said...

Things I Hate Having To Do When I Am At Mass:

--The swiviling genuflect as I go back and forth searching for the tabernacle...(It's gotta be here somewhere...)

--The Our Father "Hand Clutch" as the irritating ladies on either side of me try to pry my hands apart.

--Wipe the look of disgust off of my face as we launch into the lates circa 1960's "I was on drugs when I wrote this!" hymn.

--Crack my knees on the hard floor because I didn't know the kneelers were removed 40 years ago in "The Spirit of Vatican II"...

--Imitate "The Scream" as liturgical dancers (middle age ladies in leotards) swirl by my pew.

--Get utterly lost because the entire lay out of the "new" church resembles something from Star Trek...

--Ignore the pulse in that lady's butt in front of me as she stands there in skin-tight leggings.

--Ignore her daughter's bra straps that hang out of her dental floss strap shirt...

--Quit wondering if that is the outline of her underpants under those leggings?? Or what?? Anyhoo...back to the "Mass"

--Sprain my face as I try to keep from laughing while the Priest whips out a guitar and sings to Jesus.

--Hold my tongue as I'm barked at for kneeling to take communion.

--Explain why I'm wearing "that thing" on my head.

--Explain further that no, it does not make me feel oppressed.

--Smile with christian charity as I deflect the accusation that I think wearing a hunk of lace on my head makes me holier then thou...

--Pick myself up off the floor as a woman in a polyester pant suit stands up and gives the sermon.

--Signal desparately for the Heimlich Maneuver while having a snack in the undercroft after Mass because everyone present has just told me they cannot agree with my narrow-minded Pro-Life views...

--Have to apologize to the man I just knocked over as I walked into him while he stood outside the church door giving away Jack Chick tracts...

Courtney said...

Came over via The Walled Garden. Good list, but a few questions:

1. RCIA. Do you object to converts or the totally inability and non-understanding of the faith by the people who usually run it?

2. Same with Pre-Cana. Completely useless or completely useless as is and needs an overhaul.

3. Theology of the Body. What are you thinking there?

For 1 & 2 I can totally agree about the latter scenarios. My RCIA was a JOKE and Pre-Cana was a total waste (they did have a good presentation on NFP, but everyone else in the room was making fun of it).

Anonymous said...

I agree with Courtney about RCIA, it was a waste of time. I learned most of what I know from Catholisim for Dummies! DH is part of the local RCIA team and he's really trying to make sure our actual beliefs get taught and not just have a group talk each week.

We never went thru' Pre-Cana because we entered (re-entered for DH) after we had been married, but our validation process was dissapointing. We had a meeting with the priest where he asked a few questions, we filled out a little paperwork, then we got a call a week or two later saying we were all set. That was it. Later I learned it's more appropriate to have a small ceremony.

"Spirit of Vatican II" *shudder*

God Bless!

Andy Nowicki said...

I second Courtney's question re: Theology of the Body. Dymphna, I'd like to hear why you dislike it. I myself don't know much about it, except that trad Catholics tend to hate it and neo-Caths tend to love it. I tend to identify more with trads on most things, but (again) I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

i'm with you there..

Amy said...

I third the Theology of the Body confusion...

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

Calling everything ministries ( the tour guide ministry, the young adult ministry, the greeting ministry...)

As a Creationist writer, I am indeed ticked off by Creationists of CMI not allowing me to get published or even officially noticed by them, because as a Catholic, I can't be part of their Protestant Creationist ministry.