Sunday, December 02, 2007

Crushed and anxious

We went to the Vigil Mass at St. Rita's last night. It was my first day back and it was hard. Mass was wonderful, the homily was well thought out and darn near magnificent but I felt crushed. I guess it was the sight of four adorable little kids sitting in the pew in front of us. I was exhausted, and had been worrying myself about the inevitable conversation I am going to have with my gynecologist. She's not Catholic and will probably argue that I'll need to go on the Pill on some other contraceptive method. I know that it would be dangerous for me get pregnant again even as late as January or February and frankly the idea is enough to make me feel like an anxiety attack is coming on. I'm not a fan of NFP and don't look forward to sitting through a class with some gooey, grinning instructor.......... Drat it all.


St. Dymphna, my dear patron please pray for your namesake.
John Mary Thomas, pray for your mom, darling.

11 comments:

KitBrookside said...

Oh Dymphna...

I have thought about you a lot these past several days. I spent so many years tearing up at masses (especially baptisms!) my heart goes out to you.

I have a few suggestions from my own experiences both from a devout but pragmatic military OBGYN and from my own conscience. First, IF the pill is suggested AND you decide to abide by that advice, you may choose to do as I did, and essentially follow NFP principles by abstaining during the fertile days of your cycle. Intellectually, this worked for me, but spiritually, I was in turmoil. Of course, talk openly and deeply about this with your priest and then your practitioner -- mine cautioned that after you stop taking the pill, you have to allow yourself and your body time to get back to normal/natural, as the uterine lining must return to its normal cycle of thickening after being artificially thinned for [x] number of months. The time it takes for this to happen depends on the individual woman, so I can offer no insight on it beyond sharing what I was told. It was not my first choice but after a few years of heartbreak, I decided to give it a try.

Another suggestion is going back to good ol' fashioned courtship with your beloved until you are cleared to try again in a few months. Character building, certainly, but also romantic in its way. Especially when you get the green light!

Good luck, courage, and always pray! (St. Gerard Majella and St. Catherine of Sweden were and remain my mainstays...) May God bless you, your beloved, and little John Mary Thomas.

Kit

Dymphna said...

Thank you Kit! I'm going to make an appointment with my pastor as soon as possible.

a thorn in the pew said...

I have an OBGYN who readily administers the pill and always asks if I am interested or says I should think about it. You need to follow what you feel is spiritually comfortable to you. At the end of the day, that doctor won't be able to help you with a moral dilemma. A good priest can and that is comforting. You will be in my prayers. I too have to wait until I am better to try again and it is so hard, since I am 39. God bless.

elena maria vidal said...

I have been there, Dymphna. It is the hardest thing in the world. NFP is meant just for health situations like yours. I'll pray.

Mrs Jackie Parkes MJ said...

nfp's not so bad i'm sure you could teach yourself..it's not rocket science..i've had to postpone a pregnancy for life-threatening reasons..just takes a lotta abstinence! lol

Sanctus Belle said...

Don't take the pill. There is no reason on earth to take this in your situation. If you are advised to not get pregnant, abstain. Taking the pill will be morally illicit. The only reason your doctor would prescribe the pill during the time of recovery would be to avoid pregnancy, not in any way to add in healing. If anything, taking the pill will lessen your chances of future fertility as it does not allow the building up of your uterine lining. You shouldn't need to wait longer than 8 weeks in order to try again. I pray the Lord heals you quickly and that your next pregnancy in achieved quickly and your baby is healthy!

Benedicamus said...

Will be praying for you. These kind of "limbo" times are tough- but Mrs. Parkes is right, you don't *have* to take an NFP class in order to get the book and tutor yourself in it. Often, you can just call the teaching couple if you have questions or problems.
Definitely talk to a priest who is faithful to Rome, and who will patiently understand your situation.

Dymphna said...

I spoke to a local NFP teacher.She's not doing classes for the rest of Advent and Christmas but she says I can read the text book and call her with any questions. I'm ordering the text book, a basal themometer and a saliva fertility monitor.

KitBrookside said...

Dymphna...just wanted to say hi again and let you know I am praying for you and three of my own friends & family who've had losses this past month at a Holy Hour this weekend. Hope all is well, and that you are able to relax and prepare your body, mind and spirit over the holidays!

M. Alexander said...

I had an ectopic pregnancy also. I was in Ireland visiting my parents and after I passed out twice they took me to the doctor's who diagnosed gastroenteritis. I awoke at 5am screaming in pain. I think it was at that point that the tube ruptured. I returned home after 10 days and my doctor picked up on the ectopic. I'm very very lucky to be alive.

I had to have surgery and my wonderful doctor was able to repair the tube. He never suggested that I avoid becoming pregnant, use the pill or practice NFP. He is not opposed to birth control and does prescribe it. I asked him if I should wait to become pregnant and and he said that is up to you.

Hopefully you will not be told that. I'm sorry for your loss and what you have been. A baby lost is one of the wounds that does not heal completely.

My prayers will be with you.
Mary

Dymphna said...

Mary, Kit, thank you!