Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Requiem

I've always thought that my husband was wonderful but lately when I look at him I marvel. The man really is a walking miracle. My father-in-law was an extreme narcissist. He was the corpse at every  funeral and the bride at every wedding.  He was the sun and anyone who didn't want to revolve around him forever was in trouble.  He was affectionate with his sons when they were little but changed when they became teenagers. Perhaps it was because he couldn't cope with them growing up. Maybe something bad  happened elsewhere in his life and that is what made him mean. Perhaps he was afraid. As the boys grew, he may have felt like an old lion who had to defend his territory.  We'll never know. At any rate, Rocky made it out of that household being sane, decent and kind. My father-in-law never got over Rocky  leaving home and his "humorous" tongue was so toxic  that the only way for Rocky to deal with him without getting emotionally torn up every time we visited was to severely limit contact and then to only talk about safe things like football.

My mother-in-law simply adored her husband. He could do no wrong. If he said the sky was green. She would agree and get angry at anyone who said otherwise. Now that she is gone, Rocky is left with only his brother and sadly, it is now obvious that while Rocky got away, "Clipper," never really did. When I look at him, it's like seeing a 6 foot tall marionette with no visible strings.


Kyrie Elieson!
Eternal rest grant unto my in-laws Oh Lord. Let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace.

4 comments:

kam said...

Gee, could be my family... Thank you for the reflection...

Mary Ann Kreitzer said...

Life is so challenging and the more family members, the more challenges. I have nine brothers and sisters (eight living) and Larry has eight. We have five children and 24 (living) grandchildren (one in the womb). What excitement from all those relationships! And then bring in spouses, children, nieces and nephews -- sometimes my head spins. I always try to remember when things are most difficult to pray and stay calm. The pray part is okay, but I'm not so good at the stay calm part when the button pushing begins. Lord, in 2016 help me to shut up when I start to get angry. That's the best way to deal with the narcissists.

Merry Christmas!

The Digital Hairshirt said...

I'm with you, sister. I thank God every day for my husband, who is a good man.

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

"He was the sun and anyone who didn't want to revolve around him forever was in trouble."

Even Earth and Moon? They don't revolve around the Sun, you know, don't you?