Thursday, February 21, 2008

i did a dumb, dumb thing

My medical records from when I was in the hospital arrived yesterday. I was going to send them to my doctor but started leafing through the packet. It was actually interesting; almost like watching a surgery on the Discovery channel and then I turned a page and found the section on my baby. The headline said Product of Conception and it was the pathologist's report. I read one or two sentences and couldn't read anymore. My face was burning but the rest of my skin was cold and tingled like frost nip, and I felt as if I was going to vomit or faint. I tottered to the bedroom, fell into bed and staid there until I felt that I could stand and walk again. Unfortunately Rocky was home when this all happened and was very concerned about me. I wish he hadn't seen me like that. I feel better but the aftershock, for lack of a better word is still there. I think I'll take it easy this weekend and spend a little extra time in prayer.


John Mary Thomas, my little treasure in Heaven, pray for us.

10 comments:

KitBrookside said...

Ohhhh D...!

I am SO sorry for all you've gone through. Prayers, hugs and hand-holds from NY to VA, for you, Rocky, and your little angel JMT.

-Kit

Mrs Jackie Parkes MJ said...

I know on my notes all miscarriages are described as abortions..sick I must do something about it..hope you are feeling better..God bless

Coffee Catholic said...

That's horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should take a big fat red marker and write over that satanic heading: BABY, HUMAN BEING

Sanctus Belle said...

Its very difficult when something so personal is made into something so medical/technical. Baby is a lay term, and perhaps embryo/fetus would have been a better term for this report. Sadly, this pathologist may also see aborted babies and so simply names it all the same.

It may be better to simply not read these things unless you can view it with a more "dispassionate" medical eye - which of course one cannot do unless they are a medical professional.

Mrs Parkes: Unfortunately the term abortion actually refers to any pregnancy ending prior to viability or therabouts. Abortion would be spontaneous in a miscarraiges, or surgical/elective in a procured abortion, or volunatary termination. The medical term for miscarriage is spontaneous abortion.

Again Dymphna, I am very sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage, it is a harrowing experience.

Bailey Walker said...

I will remember you and Rocky in a particular way at Vespers this evening. God bless you.

Dymphna said...

Thank you everyone!

pam j said...

It is always the unexpected things that that hit the hardest. It is so painful right now, but your faith (which is amazing), will sustain you. And of course Our Blessed Mother, who suffered the death of Our Savior is with you and your husband. Almost 26 years ago, my husband and I lost our infant daughter. Our prayers are with you and your husband at this difficult time.

Peace,
pam j

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

Miscarriage = not abortion.

Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

John Mary Thomas, my little treasure in Heaven, pray for us.

Dymph,
I know exactly how you feel. Every day when I finish my Rosary, I ask my son, Paul James... who occupies that special part of Heaven... to pray for me, his mother, and his baby sister.

John Mary Thomas, ora pro nobis.

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

Actually, in Latin "abortus" means miscarriage, while abortion is "abortus provocatus" - provoked miscarriage.