i did a dumb, dumb thing

My medical records from when I was in the hospital arrived yesterday. I was going to send them to my doctor but started leafing through the packet. It was actually interesting; almost like watching a surgery on the Discovery channel and then I turned a page and found the section on my baby. The headline said Product of Conception and it was the pathologist's report. I read one or two sentences and couldn't read anymore. My face was burning but the rest of my skin was cold and tingled like frost nip, and I felt as if I was going to vomit or faint. I tottered to the bedroom, fell into bed and staid there until I felt that I could stand and walk again. Unfortunately Rocky was home when this all happened and was very concerned about me. I wish he hadn't seen me like that. I feel better but the aftershock, for lack of a better word is still there. I think I'll take it easy this weekend and spend a little extra time in prayer.


John Mary Thomas, my little treasure in Heaven, pray for us.