Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Thank you, St. Jude for prayes answered

There is a couple who wanted to adopt their foster child. Certain folks in the foster system wanted to send the child back to the natural mother, who is apparently "getting her life together". The case dragged on for years but the judge ruled in the foster parent's favor.

Whenever people say "I don't know why So-in-So did a foreign adoption. There are plenty of kids available in foster care," I just sigh. Just because a child is in foster care doesn't mean they are free for adoption. There is a parent or a relative out there who for whatever reason won't let go and the kid can languish from foster home to foster home to group home until they turn 18. And then there's the other thing. Not all foster parents are nice people. Some treat the kids like crap. Adopting an older child from foster care means that you run the risk of unknowingly taking on a child who is severely damgaged. Not everyone has the strength or financial resources to handle that.

When the guy in accounting or the woman from your church choir does a foreign infant adoption give them a break before trotting out the old,"plenty of kids right here," line.


Lola said...

Congratulations to your friends!

TH2 said...

Dymphna: I really like your objective, hard-hitting, precise view of things - as evidenced in this post.

Anita Moore said...

When I handled child protection cases (state taking kids away from parents) and juvenile cases in the first public defender's office I worked in, I saw first-hand what you are talking about. There are kids so profoundly damaged spiritually and emotionally that nothing short of a miracle would make them whole. The DSM-IV might say that you can't diagnose a child as a sociopath, but to that I say Bravo Sierra. Some of the scariest clients I have ever had have been children. God help them and protect anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with them.

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

Foster care is swindle.

I was threatened with it if ma refused to send me to boarding school. And the boarding school was bad.

A foster home would have been worse.