Saturday, January 30, 2010

the truth sucks sometimes


I've never had a successful pregnancy. The last time I got pregnant back in 2007, it ended in an ectopic rupture. I've told myself and others that I'm okay, Since I can't have children I've tried to convince myself that I dont' like them anyway 'cause they're noisy and then I see a photo like this and I just.....

12 comments:

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

insert blog hug

the little ones are adorable...

I shall be praying for you :)

Bonum, Verum, Pulchrum said...

God bless you! Would that all women feel the same way about children that you do.

cliff said...

heart gripping post. We have seven children, and God help us, many times I feel like a "reluctant" Catholic. It just goes to show many of us do not always appreciate the gifts we have been given.

R J said...

Perhaps an adoption might be possible for you and your husband one day, Mrs. Dymphna?

The Digital Hairshirt said...

Dymphna, have you looked into Haitian adoptions? One of the couples I know, who already have a little boy whom they adopted, are making inquiries.

Mary Ann said...

God bless you, Dymphna. The world needs women with mothers' hearts. When I take Communion to the local nursing home, I see many childlike adults starved for mothering. There are many ways to give life and fulfill the longing of a mother's heart.

Karen said...

I don't know how old you are, but I had a baby at age 45 with no help from anyone but God -- and I didn't even ask, just assumed I was too old. At the time, Newsweek magazine was telling me that I'd have a better chance of being struck by lightning. So don't give up, even if you just put it way back in some unopened folder in your mind.

And for the record, they ARE noisy. And messy, and at times highly irritating, and then they become teenagers and go through the gangrene years, and then they move away and never visit you again. Unfortunately, they're also adorable and delightful and funny. God did that so we wouldn't kill them.

R J said...

Karen wrote in her comment about kids: "then they move away and never visit you again."

Sometimes, alas, they do the opposite, which is, to stay living with parents for ever (despite their own indecently high incomes as merchant bankers / lawyers / what not). I've known 46 year old upper middle class males who still expect their mothers to do the laundry.

No doubt this is just part of the general infantilization of modern Western society, according to which, one can spend one's entire life until the mid-30s or even early 40s goofing off and getting more and more fraudulent graduate college qualifications.

Sanctus Belle said...

My husband and I did an extensive look into foreign adoption a year ago or so - its expensive but there's lots of help out there too. If we had decided to go through with it - Ethiopia looked like the best way to go. Quick, not as expensive, you can adopt siblings, less paperwork and only one trip needed (most countries require 2 trips and can take years) FYI

Dymphna said...

Thanks everyone for your kindness! Adoption really isn't an option for us. Rocky is 45 and I turn 43 next month. And we both have some health issues. I tell anyone who's thinking of adoption to get serious now. Dont' wait until you're in your 40s.

Susan said...

Maybe God was sparing some little child from your nastiness and religious militancy. I'm much relieved to hear that some poor child is not suffering under the "care" of an angry screwball such as yourself. The last thing the world needs is another abused child, don't you agree?

Sanctus Belle said...

Susan what a horrible thing to say. I hope you are being sarcastic but somehow I don't think so. We all must stand before th King of Kings at the end and account for everything we say.