Monday, January 23, 2006

NFP thoughts

If you're offended by blunt talk about sex then skip this post
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Still with me? Okay. A few days ago I was part of a discussion about natural family planning (NFP). One young bride was upset because her husband was not cooperating and the tension in the house was terrible. An older woman responded that the young bride needed to get more forceful about making her husband grow up and in making NFP work for them both. She explained that when she is in her fertile period she avoids her husband and sleeps on the couch if he gets too frisky. I thought that telling the newlywed to go sleep on the couch was a terrible thing.

A young and not so young man wants to have sex with his wife. That is normal, good and holy. Telling him to "grow up" and behave doesn't help your marriage, in fact you might be asking for trouble. If you want to have a happy marriage you should want your husband to want you. Sex should equal you in his mind. Pushing him off and making him feel guilty about the whole thing is damned foolery. Unless your man is a saint, (If he is, kiss his feet and praise the Lord!) he will have sex. If not with you then with some willing woman or he'll withdraw to fantasy (porn) or masturbation. Is that what you want? St. Elizabeth of Hungary wisely noted that she did not wish to cause her husband to sin by turning him off her. No, that's not exactly what she said but you get the drift, eh?

Some women are super fertile. Some of us are not. I've been married 17 years and only got pregnant twice. Both ended in miscarriage. In case, you haven't noticed there is a huge industry catering to the miseries of infertile women. A lot of us have no hope of ever getting pregnant at all. Don't fear pregnancy. God already knows what you can handle and He already knows what's best. If you let Him decide how many children you should have you might be amazed.

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