Saturday, October 03, 2009

the kindest of men--Rocky

Yesterday Rocky took my mother to Target and to Bed Bath & Beyond. She hasn't been shopping in four months so it was a major buying trip and yes, he spent hours pushing the cart around and making trips to the car. And then he took us all to dinner. Later he restocked her supply of bottled water and hooked up her HDTV cables. Rocky loves my mother and anytime she need something he's there.

Christopher West, the Catholic sexologist probably wouldn't be too impressed but I'm so grateful to have such a good, kind man for my husband.

Earlier this week a woman I know mentioned that she showed her husband a job posting that would, if he got it, take him to Iraq or Afghanistan for a year. She said she'd miss him but all the bills and a good chunk of the mortgage could be paid off. My reaction was to think that she was kidding, then it was to wonder WTH was wrong with her. I just looked at her while she excitedly talked about the job.

Now granted, Rocky and I have a very different relationship than she and her husband do and we have only been apart for about two weeks in the last 21 years (I had to go to South Carolina to take care of some family business and he couldn't get off from work) but I can't imagine --not on my worst most bitchy day actually wanting him to go to a war zone (bombs, fire, dead buddies, possibly getting your head sawed off) to fix our finances. I feel sorry for that woman's husband, who already has a job that he apparently likes by the way, and I hope his feelings weren't hurt. A loving husband is more than just a paycheck.

10 comments:

Lola said...

I really feel sorry for their family.

I hope that once they get 'caught up' that they never put themselves in such a situation that entering a warzone looks like a solution.

I had a neighbor who was looking forward to a 'contractors' job in Iraq. He was a deeply in debt. His sweet wife and baby were to move far away to live with relatives in order to save even more money in his absence. The sole purpose was to earn enough money to get out of debt, set a little aside and on his return buy a little house. He had a twinkle in his eye at their moving sale looking forward to no longer shouldering crushing debt.

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Dymphna, you and your husband are very blessed to have better options than the other couple you know--and other couples I can think of. (Your only two weeks apart remind me of Paul and Linda McCartney, though they beat your record by one week.

It is very common for Filipino families to split up because one parent takes a job in another country (or on a ship), which keeps him away from home for months or even years at a time. Public school education is pretty bad over here, and parents will sacrifice a great deal to send their children to private schools.

kimberley said...

Yes, I have read how hard it is for Filipinos working in Saudi Arabia. God Bless them.

Robert said...

I have a friend who has worked in Afghanistan. He tells me that foreign workers there live in well protected compounds. The woman's husband would not necessarily be exposed to "bombs, fire, dead buddies, possibly getting your head sawed off".
This same friend is having difficulties finding work in the US. He may have to go back to work overseas. He would not be happy about having to leave his wife and child here, but it may have to in order to pay the bills.
I think you may have been a bit harsh on the woman you mention.

Dymphna said...

Perhaps Robert, but I'd rather get a second job than ask my husband to go away for a year.

steve said...

I don't think Dymphna was hard on the husband at all; if anything, she was too easy on the wife. ;-) I mean c'mon, she was actively looking to send her husband overseas to a war zone and was gleeful about it. Now, I know that it is beneath Americans now-a-days to do things such as live below their means, avoid debt, or take a second or third job doing such horrible things as deliving pizza's or working at 7-11.

Going overseas for a year isn't really going to change their financial position as evidenced by Robert's friend. He is better off staying here with his family, working extra jobs (while looking for a better paying full time job), and reducing their spending habits. The guy is going to come back from his year-long contract to what??? nothing. He will be starting his career over from scratch. I would not be surprised that once those 'big contractor paychecks' start coming in, that their discretionary spending also goes up and they do not end up that much better off.

Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Your husband is a good man. I would imagine if you look in a Catholic dictionary under "Decent", you'll see his picture.

Mark P. Shea said...

Christopher West, the Catholic sexologist probably wouldn't be too impressed but I'm so grateful to have such a good, kind man for my husband.

Why do you choose to poison your praise of a good man with this absolutely irrelevant piece of cattiness?

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

@MPS - perhaps because, knowing her husband, she knows he won't mind? Or it may even make him smirk?

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

@Embrithiel "It is very common for Filipino families to split up because one parent takes a job in another country (or on a ship), which keeps him away from home for months or even years at a time. Public school education is pretty bad over here, and parents will sacrifice a great deal to send their children to private schools."

Is homeschooling illegal in the Filippines? (Or Philippines, to use English spelling?)