Saturday, July 15, 2017

Big fat weddings and shrew princess brides

Recently a friend of Rocky's was terribly upset  because of a nasty wedding party. The bride and her parents were behaving like poor examples of Catholics  to a very decent person who has the misfortune of being the parish (I will not name the parish) wedding coordinator. Ladies, if your princess wedding fantasy means so much to you that you can become a shrieking, tantrum throwing banshee because you can't wear that strapless, booty hugging dress in the house of God, or can't cover the altar in a canopy of wisteria like the Twilight movie wedding (well, unless you are marrying a vampire*)  and you can't have the Beyonce "Halo" or "Ave Maria"songs during Mass then you need to grow up and reconsider getting married at all.

You are not a Kardashian, I hope and you are not Kate Middleton, who truth be told was not living an edifying life before her marriage either so why demand a big fat Protestant style faux royal wedding? Why not put that money into setting up your household or at least concentrating on the reception? The three best weddings I've ever been too either took place immediately after a regular Mass, during a regular Mass or in the case of the last one was a dignified nuptial Mass with no extra decorations in the church,  no flower petal sprinkling (those petals look pretty until someone slips, falls and sues the parish) and no secular music.

Oh and one more thing for the grooms. Do you really want to marry a woman who is capable of screaming at an elderly person over music?

* If you are marrying a six foot tall, reanimated leech-like, demon possessed corpse who would turn to ashes if he tried to enter a church anyway-- you clearly have enough problems so go ahead and have the wisteria.