Sunday, August 26, 2012

Have mercy on the children


Single motherhood by choice is not a good thing. This is one of the unpleasant truths that we know but don't dare say out loud at work or in social situations. Our society lionizes single mothers and heaps sympathy on these "strong" women. Essentially we are celebrating child abuse. Now before anybody goes berserk let me point out that I am the child of a widow. My father died when I was 13. It was not easy for my mother and she had to work two jobs for a period of time before she got a promotion at her main job. As for me, for years I would have debilitating anxiety attacks on the rare occasions when I didn't know exactly where she was. My father's death was unexpected and sudden and I was terrified that something would also happen to her. A woman who was divorced through no fault of her own is very much like a widow and the children of divorcees and widows account for very little violent social pathologies.  I am not talking about widows or divorced women.


I am talking about women who decided that they either didn't need a man or who kept getting involved with men who had no intention of ever being tied down. In 1996, 70% of all prison inmates were the sons of single mothers. Criminologists warned that we would be facing super predators in the next decade.  Do you think the recent flash mobs and home invasions by teenagers is a some kind of accident? Today according to the Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, children from single-parent (fatherless) households make up 63% of all youth suicides, and 80% of all prison inmates.  Sixty percent of rapists come from fatherless homes.


Have you ever wondered why so many young white men are misogynistic? I've noticed this when I occasionally read manophere blogs and any time younger guys comment on Internet forums. Have you ever wondered why Hip Hop culture is such  an intensely woman hating one? The generation raised by women doesn't seem to like us very much. Why is that? 


The bible says that a father does not hand his son a snake when the boy asks for fish. A mother shouldn't either. It's already too late for millions of people. We need to stop acting like single motherhood is a great thing. It aint. Marry before having children, and stay married unless your husband is wicked or a domestic brute. If you are pregnant out of wedlock choose a brave, loving, selfless choice: choose adoption.

8 comments:

Gina said...

*applause*

TTC said...

Bravo.

Anita Moore said...

A lot of single mothers of the sort you're talking about have a string of different men that they shack up with. A child's chances of being physically abused skyrocket when he has a man he's not related to living in his home.

Steve "scotju" Dalton said...

Dymphna, have you ever read Jesse Lee Peterson's "Scam"? He's a black Baptist minister who touches on the issues you bring up in this post. You should get a copy of it and read it.

Gina said...

Made me think the author had just read your blog. LoL

http://www.blogher.com/becoming-single-mother-choice?wrap=blogher-topics/family/babies-and-toddlers-02&crumb=106867

Dymphna said...

Steve, I'm going to get that book.



Thanks Gina!

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

"Now before anybody goes berserk let me point out that I am the child of a widow. ... A woman who was divorced through no fault of her own is very much like a widow and the children of divorcees and widows account for very little violent social pathologies. I am not talking about widows or divorced women.

Or women who are divorced without having chosen it, you mean.

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

"If you are pregnant out of wedlock choose a brave, loving, selfless choice: choose adoption."

Or even better, marrying the father of the babe, if he be available.