Saturday, June 06, 2009

i found this disturbing

....If a man really thought that marriage meant half a dozen children or more, if he really thought that his wife wouldn't be able to work because she was pregnant every two years. If he really thought marriage meant supporting a dozen kids then maybe celibacy wouldn't seem so bad.

I read this on the Standing on My Head blog (don't think I'm going back either) and although I'm not entirely sure of why it did so, it really disturbed me. American Catholics from the Baby Boomers onward have been having sex with the mindlessness of animals but seem terrified of actually having a baby, the whole point of mating in the first place.

It seems so strange. Now granted, with my fertility issues I'm probably not the one to comment on this since I've not been able to carry a pregnancy past two months. Rocky doesn't need to "worry" about having a dozen kids out of me but when we married we did so assuming that kids would come along because that's the deal with with marriage.

Oh, and just becuase you have a bunch of kids doesn't mean that a woman can't work outside the home. My great grandmother had twelve and she was picking cotton in the South Carolina sun, cooking on a wood stove, raising chickens, goats, pigs, keeping a cow and sewing quilts for tourists in her spare time-- a hell of a tougher job than sitting in a nice air conditioned office all day.


RAnn said...

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Lola said...

Very well stated as always Dymphna!

A. It isn't always so that a healthy woman is going to have a baby every two years.

B. The unbelievable denial of sex=babies. My goodness.

C. I also love your pointing out the fact that women work. No matter the size of the family, most women actually work.
Even if it's not for an actual paycheck.

(The Coupon Mom on Dave Ramsey, a previously well paid "working woman" prior to having her kids estimated that saving the $5000 using coupons equated to a $7000 part-time job.)

Baron Korf said...

First, sorry for the Paleo-commenting, I just found your blog and I'm catching up some.

Second I don't quite get the problem. I don't think he was knocking moms like your great-grandmother. I think he was talking about pant-suited career-climbers that bring in significantly more cash. You know, the kind that chemically or mechanically hold off having kids till they are financially 'ready'. DINKs and the like.

In short that the self-sacrifice of celibacy is not so radical when compared to the self-sacrifice of raising a family. But because sex, marriage and family have been wrongly separated people just don't get that.

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

"First, sorry for the Paleo-commenting, I just found your blog and I'm catching up some."

I hope Dymphna doesn't mind either of us doing it.

I have been catching up and also palaeo-commenting since beginning, so if she has any qualms about you doing so, she will be after me with a rolling pin, unless I stay safe in Paris!

Dymphna, I hope you do not mind palaeo-commenting, I didn't think any blogger (except perhaps one or two of the most shallow) did!