Monday, June 15, 2009

Run like hell....

....If your pastor stands up in the pulpit and says "We need a new Pentecost."
or "Vatican II unleashed a new Pentecost for the Church".

If Wanda Sue, the daughter of the church secretary suddenly appears in a leotard and begins leaping and twirling up the the center aisle. If it's a flesh colored leotard, run screaming.

If your pastor refuses to speak about abortion because he doesn't want to offend the openly and loudly pro abortion but quite wealthy parishioner who is paying for the church's new roof.

If the deacon stands up and does a Jay Leno imitation instead of giving a homily.

If your priest tells you in Confession that IVF is okay.

If you go to a parishioner party and see your pastor sitting in a hot tub with a woman-- oh hell, if you go to a church function and see Father sitting in a hot tub, period. And doesn't matter if he's wearing rash guards or Speedos.

If a lady in a polyester pantsuit-- the Mother Superior of an order than used to exist in your parish and who is visiting her old stomping grounds--- gives the homily.

If a priest tells you not to kneel at Mass-- ever.

4 comments:

a thorn in the pew said...

I'm a step ahead. I ran for a few of these reasons over 2 years ago right to an EF weekly Mass. I gal has to do what a gal has to do. My former parish is dern proud they have the number one summer festival in all the land. Whoopdeedoo. Those tend to not save many souls...

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

Some of the many reasons I ran from my old parish...those things came out of the Pastor's mouth.

William said...

Love it!!! Good advice...

Hans Georg Lundahl said...

Seems the man who pretended to canonise Roncalli did so because considering he had done sth like unleashing a New Pentecost ...?

How far did you run like Hell was after you when "Pope Francis" pretended to canonise Roncalli and Wojtyla?