Saturday, March 20, 2021

You Cannot Have it All

 Years ago I read about a woman in her 30s who decided concentrate on her career and put off marrying and having children by using IVF.  At 45,  a suitable man hadn't come along and she decided to defrost her eggs and use a sperm donor. 

Out of the 11 eggs she had frozen only one survived the defrosting process and was not abnormal in some way. That egg was fertilized and implanted in her womb. The child didn't thrive and she lost the baby. So what does this woman have to show for her $19,000 and moment of fame? Nothing. If she isn't doing it now in a few years she will be standing in her kitchen at midnight and asking her herself, "Where is my man? Where are my children? What the Hell did I do?"

Your career will not last, no matter how fantastic you are. Smart men already know this. About five years ago I watched an attorney start to physically decline. He'd fall asleep in his office from exhaustion and he just couldn't keep up with the rest of his team. He was forced out. It was humiliating for him. I observed another lawyer who was a big money maker for years. He put the R in rainmaker. He won multiple awards and accolades. He was quoted in local journals. He was a powerful person in the firm. And then he got sick. His sickness was progressive and he was in so much pain that he just wasn't able to work like he had for 40 years. Guess what? He was forced out. In previous years he would have been allowed the grace of semi retirement for a year or two and then he would have gotten a fabulous party and a farewell. In the years of the great plague firm's can't afford that and have to be lean and mean. 

In the end, you will be given a gold watch, a retirement bonus and a party if you're lucky and people will wave goodbye. If you aren't lucky you'll get a cold meeting and an embarrassed friend telling you that look, you just aren't able to pull the load anymore and you have to go.